Beautiful Hams

These little ham bones...are ready to color some eggs.

Bring them on already Mommy!

Burr...I thought it was Spring

We spent an afternoon last week taking in some of the fresh spring air.  It was another frigid spring day.  The beauties didn't care.  They love playing at the park.  even when the park is one huge MUD PIT.

My friend Laura and her dog Stella joined us.  The girls always love time with "Auntie" Bat R and Stella.

Chloe spent much of her time "walking" Stella around the park.  Stella is so good with the Beauties.

Why don't kids sleep

That is my question.  Really.  It's so simple.  Why will they not sleep?  I am so tired.  I'm always tired.  

We have entered into yet another new cycle of constant night waking.

Someone seems to always be up and out of bed in our house.

I'm hot.  I'm cold.  I need a drink.  I need to go potty.  I heard something.  When is Daddy coming home?  I don't want to go to sleep.  She's looking at me.  My blanket is too small.  I need a kleenex.  Something is scratching me.  My bed is not comfortable.  I wanna sleep on the floor.

I have heard everything.

They are so tired.

Evenings have become a struggle of sanity.  

They refuse to take naps during the day.  Which leads to three grumpy, exhausted four year olds by 4:00pm.  Just in time for big sister to arrive home from school, also drained from the day.  Also on a short fuse, especially where her sisters are concerned.  

They are bickering and picking at each other constantly.  Almost every second, at minimum, two of them are arguing.  Usually all four.  Don't touch that.  Get out.  That's mine.  She hit me.  She touched me.  She won't let me.  She copied me.  She changed the channel.  She took that from me.  I had it first.  She won't share.  

I feel like I am struggling.  I am losing the battle.  I have a difficult time containing my frustration because there literally is no reprieve what-so-ever.

I cannot stand yelling.  Getting upset.  It makes me feel like a horrible mom.  I know they feed off my frustration.  But I am at a breaking point.  

I try to take them places after school.  After I have worked all day.  When there are so many things I should be doing at home.  Laundry, cleaning, blah blah blah.  When we go...it's a toss.  Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's terrible.  In the end, when we arrive back home...the nightmare of our bedtime routine is magnified by a million.  Now they are even more tired.  Over stimulated.  Exhausted.  I am left wondering if the outing was worth the added struggle at bedtime?  

I repeat to myself over and over.  It's normal.  It's a phase.  It's intensified because I have multiples.  But I always stop and question myself.  What am I doing wrong?  What can I do differently?  Better?

I am sitting here listening to them cry.  Telling Chloe to go back to her room for the fifth time in ten minutes.  Telling them to go back to their room.  I lost count.

I'm tired.

They are exhausted. 

A Touch 'O Green

We participated in our first "Sapadapaso" parade today.

We drove one of the Care vehicles.  The Beauties were so excited to be a part of the St Patty's parade!

Farrah was in her delight as EVERYONE and their dogs were wearing her favorite color!  

GREEN!

Singing Beauties!

Happy Birthday to my Rock

Happy Birthday to my Matty.

Even though we are not with you on your special day, we are thinking of you today.  

Your little girls have spent the majority of the day talking about their Daddy and his special Happy Birthday.  

We hope that you have felt all of the vibes we have been sending your way, as you study and learn at school.

We miss you so very much.

I look forward to celebrating another wonderful year of memories with you.  

You are an amazing Daddy.

A husband beyond what my dreams could have led me to imagine.  I could not do this without you.

Our life is beautiful and amazing every single day.

Happy Birthday to my one and only.

I love you.

My three little four year olds

Happy Birthday "Babies"

I still get shivers when I stop and think about the series of events that lead us to the Beauties.

The heartache.  The losses we endured.  The strength we build together as a couple.  The bond we grew as parents to Chloe.  

I still remember the day we went to the doctor to have that very first ultrasound.  I remember the doctor explaining to us that the results were so unclear.  That it was still so early to really tell what was going on.  that they could see a yolk sack, but that there was also a "mass" that they could not describe.  We left the hospital feeling defeated.  Sad.  Heartbroken again.  Knowing in our hearts that we were miscarrying yet another pregnancy.  Feeling that we would never have another baby.  Knowing that getting pregnant was was happening, but staying pregnant wasn't.  What was wrong with me?  Why?  I cried so much over that next ten days.  Waiting for our follow up appointment.  Constant nausea.  Constant worry.

Ten days came.  We went to the hospital.  One pins and needles the doctor began the ultrasound.  

Slow deep breaths and eyes welling with tears, I watched Matt's face so closely, waiting for a sign.  Any kind of sign that things would be okay.  Nothing.  Finally the doctor started talking...

"See this?  Here we have a tiny little heart beat!"  I was elated!  A heartbeat!  We had a heartbeat!  "And over here, were have two more little heartbeats!!  Can you see them?"  

Two more?  Did she say TWO MORE?  Two more?  THREE?  THREE HEARTBEARTS?  There are THREE HEARTBEATS?!?!

 I still remember people asking me if I was upset when the doctor told us.  We couldn't have been more HAPPY when the doctor told us.  WE WERE PREGNANT!  We had THREE heartbeats.  Three viable babies.  THREE.

 From the moment we learned of three, we knew they were miracles.  Three miracles.  All babies are.

We also knew that in addition to all the normal worries of a normal pregnancy, we now had an entire stack of special worries that came with multiple pregnancies.  But we were ready to play the hand that we had been dealt.  We were ready.  We took one day at a time.  Looking back...we have truly won that hand in so many ways, and continue to every single day.

We were challenged with doctors advising to reduce the pregnancy.  We said HELL NO.  We were challenged with tests that said there was a great risk of genetic problems, which we knew in our hearts, we would love our children no matter what.  In the end, no genetic problems whatsoever.  I was faced with severe gestational diabetes and on insulin.  Preterm labor beginning at 18 weeks.  Full blown preterm labor at 24 weeks which had to be stopped with magnesium sulfate, and steroid shots for the babies lungs. In turn, landing me in the hospital for the duration of my pregnancy on strict bed rest and constant monitoring of the babies.  Another round of drugs stopped labor at 28 weeks and more steroid shots.  Another trip to L&D around 30 weeks that stopped on it's own.  My little Chloe celebrating her third birthday in the mother baby unit of the hospital.  Lots of help from Grandmas while Daddy was at work.

Lots of sleepless nights because I was so worried that my babies wouldn't make it.  that they would be too sick, too little.  That something would be wrong with them.

Happy Birthday to my Miracles.  My Beautiful triplets.  This photograph was taken in the hospital the night before the babies were born.  We had no idea the they would be born the very next morning.  I had been in the hospital for 9+ weeks.  Having contractions continuously.  Full blown labor stopped three times.  Countless ultrasounds, monitoring and endless worry about our tiny little miracles.  Saturday March 11th, 2007 at 10:37 10:37 1/2 and 10:38am they graced our world.  Our lives were forever changed.  Our everyday miracles were here. 

Jocelyn Pearl - Baby A - 4 lbs 12 oz 
Farrah Grace - Baby B - 3 lbs 4 oz
Silvie Mae - Baby C - 4 lbs 1 oz


We had ups and downs over the course of the next several weeks.  But they grew and thrived.  They reached milestones.
They spent 4 weeks and 3 days in the NICU.  They all came home together.
They are truly our tiny miracles...I cannot believe they are four years old today!

Birthday Bliss

Chloe chose the Ceramic Cafe for her birthday party this year.

It is a very unique place for persons of all ages.

The kiddos were very excited to chose their pieces and they all created some wonderful art!

 Very Patiently waiting for the paint.

They were VERY ready to get started.

 The birthday girl chose an owl jar to store all her treasure in.  She did an excellent job on it.

 Hattie, Chloe, Ava and Piper.

 Gramma Pam helping Silvie and Gramma Val helping Jocelyn.

 Tristan, Chloe, Ollivia, Shae, Alex, Molli and Ava.

 All smiles.

 BFF necklaces...always a hit.

 The singing animal from Piper.  This was the big hit!  I think the battery may be running low already it has sung the Happy Birthday song so many times already.  I will have to be sure and Thank Kels extra for this one the next time I see her.  Wink, wink.

 Gus asked Aunt Dee to make her cake the Titanic this year.  She is completely amazed by everything to do with the Titanic.  The boat, the history.  The movie. (Yes the one with Leo)  Aunt Dee did an AMAZING job on the cake!  It took EIGHT cake mixes and FIVE hours of decorating!  It was so cool.  The kids and adults thought it was very impressive!  A++ Aunt Dee.

 It was Happy Birthday tune time.  Chloe was all smiles as was sang to her!  She wasn't sure what to do with everyone starring right at her.  So she smiled big and sang along too! 

Happy Birthday Gus!

 Silvie working on her gator.

 Jocelyn's Penguin.

Farrah's elephant.

It was a great party!

Sweet Baby Gus...isn't a baby anymore

 I am already fighting back tears and I am in the first sentence.  Que sappy mommy alert.  

It was amazing to look back through photos of the last seven years and see how much our "little" family has changed.  This picture was taken eleven days before I became a mommy.  Seems now, like I have always been a mommy.  I'm not sure what I ever did before I was a mommy.  I remember this time.  I was so filled with excitement and fear (okay, I admit it, I was scared to death) anxiety and worry and tremendous happiness.  Our baby Gus would be here any day. 

On Thursday February 26th, 2004 we welcomed our beautiful, healthy baby girl into our world.  

As we smiled and cried and laughed and starred into her tiny beautiful face, we fell in love over and over and over again.  We were so blessed by this precious little girl brought into our world. 

 I don't remember sleeping in the hospital at all the first day she was here.  I was exhausted.  So many people to see her.  To welcome her.  I couldn't stop looking at her.  I couldn't believe she was here, in my arms and she was ours.

Proud Papas and Grandmas were teary eyed and excited.  Everyone fell in love with our sweet baby Gus the moment the met eyes with her.  Her charismatic way was apparent from the second her eyes opened.  She was a charmer from day one.  She will steal your heart and keep it close.

 The first days home were glorious delusion for me and for Matty.  We were so tired.  We had lots of cat naps.  We slept when Gus slept.  Which in her case seemed to be any time except the night time. 

I spent the first several weeks of her life dressing and undressing her.  Just to look at her.  So perfect.  So beautiful. 

 She was such a little peanut.  I never put her down.  I was the definition of breast feeding, baby wearing, co-sleeping momma.  Very proud to say that.

Papa and his "punkins"  Remembers when you only had two Poppy?

 Chloe and her BFF from birth OKZ.

 Mommy's girl. 

 Maybe Daddy's Girl?

 Chloe's cousin Molli is one of her best buddies.

Grammy's Girls.  Remember when you only have two Grammy?

 Maybe the Aquatic Center is where she developed her love of the Titanic?  She loved that place as a toddler. 

 Chloe and cousin Haley.  I was pregnant with the triplets at the time and they thought they were pretty funny, which they really actually were the hit of the party with their balloon bellies.

Our little princess.

The birthday girl today.

She has endured so much over the last years.  Mommy and Daddy added three baby sisters at a time.  Which was a huge adjustment for anyone, but as a three year old child, she took it better than anyone I think.  She loves them more than anything in the world.  

I watch her with other children and I am so proud of her.  She is caring and sensitive.  She puts other people first, always.  Even when she doesn't want to, she does.  She is a caregiver.  She is kind and gentle.  She is artistic and creative.  Her imagination sours.  She amazes me every single day.

I am blessed to be her Mommy.

My sweet baby Gus turned seven today.  SEVEN.  I cannot believe she came into my life seven years ago.  

She is smart, charismatic, charming and with everyday that passes I watch my tiny baby grow grow into a little girl and grow into a young woman right in front of my teary eyes.

I love you sweet baby Gus.

I have loved you from the very first moment.  I will love you forever.  For always.

Mommy