Happy Birthday "Babies"
I still get shivers when I stop and think about the series of events that lead us to the Beauties.
The heartache. The losses we endured. The strength we build together as a couple. The bond we grew as parents to Chloe.
I still remember the day we went to the doctor to have that very first ultrasound. I remember the doctor explaining to us that the results were so unclear. That it was still so early to really tell what was going on. that they could see a yolk sack, but that there was also a "mass" that they could not describe. We left the hospital feeling defeated. Sad. Heartbroken again. Knowing in our hearts that we were miscarrying yet another pregnancy. Feeling that we would never have another baby. Knowing that getting pregnant was was happening, but staying pregnant wasn't. What was wrong with me? Why? I cried so much over that next ten days. Waiting for our follow up appointment. Constant nausea. Constant worry.
Ten days came. We went to the hospital. One pins and needles the doctor began the ultrasound.
Slow deep breaths and eyes welling with tears, I watched Matt's face so closely, waiting for a sign. Any kind of sign that things would be okay. Nothing. Finally the doctor started talking...
"See this? Here we have a tiny little heart beat!" I was elated! A heartbeat! We had a heartbeat! "And over here, were have two more little heartbeats!! Can you see them?"
Two more? Did she say TWO MORE? Two more? THREE? THREE HEARTBEARTS? There are THREE HEARTBEATS?!?!
I still remember people asking me if I was upset when the doctor told us. We couldn't have been more HAPPY when the doctor told us. WE WERE PREGNANT! We had THREE heartbeats. Three viable babies. THREE.
From the moment we learned of three, we knew they were miracles. Three miracles. All babies are.
We also knew that in addition to all the normal worries of a normal pregnancy, we now had an entire stack of special worries that came with multiple pregnancies. But we were ready to play the hand that we had been dealt. We were ready. We took one day at a time. Looking back...we have truly won that hand in so many ways, and continue to every single day.
We were challenged with doctors advising to reduce the pregnancy. We said HELL NO. We were challenged with tests that said there was a great risk of genetic problems, which we knew in our hearts, we would love our children no matter what. In the end, no genetic problems whatsoever. I was faced with severe gestational diabetes and on insulin. Preterm labor beginning at 18 weeks. Full blown preterm labor at 24 weeks which had to be stopped with magnesium sulfate, and steroid shots for the babies lungs. In turn, landing me in the hospital for the duration of my pregnancy on strict bed rest and constant monitoring of the babies. Another round of drugs stopped labor at 28 weeks and more steroid shots. Another trip to L&D around 30 weeks that stopped on it's own. My little Chloe celebrating her third birthday in the mother baby unit of the hospital. Lots of help from Grandmas while Daddy was at work.
Lots of sleepless nights because I was so worried that my babies wouldn't make it. that they would be too sick, too little. That something would be wrong with them.