Can those two words be used in the same sentence? High maintenance and Mommy? Can you be a "high maintenance mommy"?
Matt and I have been together EIGHT years to the day yesterday. Well actually yesterday and Monday. It's a two day anniversary (ask Matt). He refers to it as "the day the magic happened". Smart Ass. We were talking on Monday about each other, us, us as individuals, us as parents, you get the picture, and how much we have changed in the past eight years. It seems to have gone by so quickly, yet we aren't sure where the days have gone. I remember the days when we slept until noon (together). I actually showered (before it was time to go to bed again). I used to put make-up on and make an attempt at a hair style, although even then it was usually a ponytail or a clip. Now I have the "mommy do" which I am unable to pull up into a ponytail. So it just looks like crap. It's not often that I am sporting make-up...takes too much time, plus then I have to wash my face again, another time waster. I loved lotion and perfume and having my nails done. Going to the salon. I shaved my legs everyday! Yes every single day! I used to get dressed into actual clothing, not something with an elastic waistband. I loved feeling pretty and made an attempt at it everyday. I am really not lazy. My priorities just changed I guess. I hope that my husband still thinks I am pretty. Not beautiful. Of course I am beautiful! I carried our four precious children inside my body (three of them at the same time) and that alone makes me beautiful no matter what I look like on the outside. I mean pretty, attractive, you know, fine, hot, sexy, whatever the word of the day is. He says he does, I say it's because he has to, he says he doesn't have to. (I beg to differ.) Anyway, I think as women, we think that the make-up and the hair and the clothing are for everyone else. I am starting to feel like maybe they are more for us then we let ourselves think they are. Because I do remembering feeling better about myself, feeling more comfortable in my skin, when I looked better on the outside. I was more outgoing, more fun, more comfortable. I feel like I am missing a part of me these days. Like maybe Matt and I need to take a little time for each other for ourselves. I love our children more than anything. But we have neglected to take time for ourselves since becoming parents. Which is okay until now. We are good parents, we love our children and they come first, always. But the secret to a happy family begins with a healthy happy marriage. I read that somewhere, or maybe it just sounds good. I don't know. But I do know I miss my husband. I truly feel that as a mother I am a better version of the old Kimberly. I am kind and caring, gentle and firm. Understanding. Nurturing. I am a better listener. I go without, so that my kids have (wow sounded like my mom there, she always made sure we had what we needed and wanted before she bought anything for herself). But I do miss certain things about the old Kimberly. I need to spend time with my man (as a woman not as mommy) put on make-up, style my hair...ya know, all the stuff I used to do when Matt referred to me as "high maintenance". I am going to start today by shaving my hairy ass legs and waxing my eyebrows...
